this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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