if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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