Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
