Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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