i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
