Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
