I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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