I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
