You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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