I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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