i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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