I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
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Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
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Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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