is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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