So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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