Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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