Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
