I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
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how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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