if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
