I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Randomize
