You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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