just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
