I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
