He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
