This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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