I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Bring me that man meat
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
