after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
