so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
tell me about the eggs
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
