Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Michael Bay diarrhea
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
