It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize