How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
God, I missed his penis.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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