Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
