Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
