just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
