you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
