I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
