its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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