I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
