I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
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When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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