U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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