You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
