Pappa wants mamma naked
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
