I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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