I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
