i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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