Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
this beer tastes like vomit already
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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