legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
