Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
