hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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