Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
try to milk me bitch
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