This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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