All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
