weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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