I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize