Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
