Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
