were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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