do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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