she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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