dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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