so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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